Transition

Humiliation is something we all avoid whenever possible.  Last Saturday I did not avoid it.  Probably most people present had no idea that I was being humiliated, but boy I knew it!!

It was my grandson’s 12^th birthday party, and he chose a bowling birthday party.  I always joke around that I was probably conceived in a bowling alley as that is where my parents met, both being avid bowlers.  Once I was old enough, we were a natural foursome, Dad, Mom, Brother, and Me.  We were all excellent bowlers and bowled in a variety of leagues until I moved back to Ohio in 1968.  Brother could have gone professional if he hadn’t married at the ripe old age of 19 (his wife hated bowling).  Anyway, through the years I continued to bowl on a variety of leagues.  Never got as good as Brother but held my own to most. 

Up until last week I hadn’t rolled a ball in more than 15+ years.  During those years I have aged considerably.  I thought…. I was still in pretty good shape, until I tried to roll that ball at Teddy’s party.  Oh, geeze, I could not bend over to roll the ball.  My mind knew exactly what the form should be, my body would not comply!!  Over 10 frames, my score did not pass 50!!!  This from a bowler who used to easily roll 175-200.

All of which got me to thinking about this age of ‘Transition’.  There is a lot more than just my body aging.  For instance, so often now I recognize my mom in me.  I am becoming more introverted with age.  I am much more of a housekeeper in my old age than I ever was in my youth, something I’m sure that Mom has directly influenced.  Many of her prejudices are now mine…. granted to a somewhat lesser degree. 

Then there is the whole issue of culture…. like I see the relationship between my youth in the 1960-70’s and how my parents viewed those years and how I view the youth of today, with the tattoos, body piercings, and strange colored hair, among other things. 

And then there are the more serious issues.  I totally accept that with time you lose those most dear to you.  My parents, I expected, they are the generation before and if events pass as you expect, they do pass before you.  Same with an older brother.  But it is weird to be the only one left in your immediate family. 

What becomes insanely difficult, is the passing of friends.  First it was my dearest friend from 8^th grade, gone instantaneously from a bad heart.  Now it is the diagnosis of ALS for my sister by another mother.  This woman whom I have traveled the world with, who has always been there, there when I laid eyes on my husband for the first time, my matron of honor, the woman who was always up for any adventure no matter how goofy.  These transitions are impossible. 

My Gemini spirit is torn in two…. there is that half of me who is still hopeful and delighted by the world around me.  Who looks forward to each new day and looks forward to the adventures before me.  But the dark side of that Gemini spirit is heartbroken by the loss of dear friends, who is fearful of the future ahead of our planet, who wonders at the future of our country.

Yep, the transitions of a life are multi-faceted, and to face every aspect each step along the way can either be joyful or dreadful.  The trick is how you respond.  How I respond to a bowling score of less than 50?  Not so hot!!!!

I Have Too Much To Read….

     I have been a reader all my life.  One of my earliest memories is being in the town library wandering the shelves.  I don’t wander the shelves as much anymore thanks in part to our technology.  The computer certainly adds to my current problem.  But the problem grows by leaps and bounds in a variety of ways. 

    First there are my friends who are also readers.  We tend to share books.  Attend my monthly Scrabble group and its not unusual for someone to bring a book that they have finished, they recommend and they are willing to share.  The book gets passed around until everyone who has an interest has read it and then back to the owner it goes.

Then there are magazines, which create a double problem.  Number One problem, I have to find time to read them.  That in itself is a big challenge for me.  I have had, at times, stacks of magazines, etc. stacked 3 years high, waiting to be read.  Problem Number Two, within the magazines, when I do get around to reading them, are stories and articles with topics of interest that I need to read more about.  As an example, I am currently reading the Jan/Feb 2021 issue of Sierra, the journal for the national Sierra Club.  In this issue is an article entitled “Land Acknowledgement” and within that article is a story about Ishi, the person who was undoubtedly the last uncontacted indigenous person in North America.  His tribe, the Yahi Nation, was still resisting settler land grabs a generation after most Native nations in California had been imprisoned in Spanish missions or slaughtered by the forty-niners.  The article mentions two books written about Ishi.  How could I not read those?

Next are the bibliographies of books where their source books are listed.  Depending on the topic and my level of interest, quite often I have to read a couple of those books. 

And finally, of course, there are the libraries themselves.  They are dangerous places for me, places that I must enter with great caution.  It simply does not work for me to enter a library and leave with 3-4 books.  I never get the time allowed in which to read all 4 books.  Maybe if I lived alone in a cave somewhere this scenario would work.

 And what keeps me true and faithful to this obsession of mine?  Well of course, my ‘Goodreads’ book list.  If you do not know it, it is an app that suggests books to read, hooks you up with common Facebook friends to see what they are reading, manages your book list for you (so whenever I find a new book I want to read I add it to my list), has contests whose primary purpose is to encourage your reading, etc. etc.  I currently have 105 books on my “To Read” list on Goodreads.  Some have been on the list since before 2020.  I simply will not live long enough.

Add to all this I am still working on reading presidential biographies in chronological order.  This has been a fun project I’ve been working on for a few years.  I weave those books in and out of whatever my current read happens to be.  I am currently up to Wm. Howard Taft.  Have a ways to go on that project.

So, do you see what I mean??  I have a problem!!!!!  Too much to read, too little time!!!!