Choices

I heard very sad news this week.  An acquaintance, someone I did not know well committed suicide.  Again, I didn’t know her well, I only recognize the name, don’t have a face to go with it, but nonetheless…how sad.

Over the years I have known a few people who have committed this act.  Years ago a young woman I had worked with took her life.  I’ve had two family members who years ago were desperate and I knew two different friends in Alaska who took their lives in desperation.  In every case I am left with the huge question….why?

I can’t imagine reaching such a point in my life that I would consider taking my own life.  My two friends in Alaska made the decision after suffering for a few years with debilitating diseases that ended any quality of life they might have hoped to have.  But for me, that could not be a decision I would make.  I have too much faith in the purpose of my life and its spiritual journey.  I know that if I am stricken with a disease that there is a reason and knowing that karma does exist, that I am destined to learn and grow from each facet of my life. 

I will never forget the phone call I received one day from a dear loved one who called to tell me that she planned to take her life soon.  She spelled out exactly how she would proceed and was calling to say goodbye.  There was nothing I could do, I was not in a position to physically stop her….but I did, with my words. 

My training in rape crisis intervention kicked in to automatic overdrive and we talked for quite a while.  Then I remember telling her how much I was going to miss her, how much I loved her and how sad I would be when she was gone.  It seems like it was those words that turned the tide.  She just needed to know that someone cared and would miss her if she was gone.  Happily she lived a long life and eventually died of natural causes. 

But I think about the woman who took her life this week.  I wonder if there was anyone she could have turned to that would have made a difference.  I mentioned in my blog “Warrior Moms” a quote by Bob Woodward, the famous journalist and author that our culture is currently in the middle of an ‘epidemic of disconnection’.  This act is a symptom of that epidemic.  People who are connected, loved, valued and needed do not commit suicide. 

So, my acquaintance made a difficult choice this week.  One that was no doubt silent and invisible to those around her.  How sad that she was a victim of the epidemic and that someone, somewhere in her life might have had the right words for her.