Me and Wilber McGee

So…..like many other people I know, my head is spinning between, COVID19, racial tensions, politics, etc, etc, etc.  My head and my heart grow weary.  But, what prompts me to write today is that the racial tensions have moved front and center into the little town of Bethel, Ohio.

Bethel, Ohio is a farming community of about 2800 people.  One young woman, whom we happen to know, has brought the BLM movement to the community by organizing peaceful protests to Main Street…with a total of 2 stop lights and some boarded up business windows of businesses long gone.  When the word got out, the “Outsiders” showed up with their hateful rhetoric and AR-15s.  The police were totally out weaponized.  Thankfully, to date they have kept things peaceful.

But the activities have pushed me to sit down at the computer.  

As I have aged I have definitely become more of a pessimistic.  I am pessimistic regarding several topics: climate change (all the evidence we need is right before our eyes), the future of our American democracy (we are falling apart, piece by piece), my physical aging (this is no fun), and of course racial inequality.

I can’t say that I am an activist in this or for that matter, any regard.  And I do admit that to the extent that my personal wisdom allows, I acknowledge my white privilege.  My eyes were opened many, many years ago by a wonderful woman named Wilber McGee (her Dad really, really wanted a boy!)  

Wilber and I were coworkers at Ohio National Life Insurance back in the late ‘60s.  From the moment we met there was a connection.  And of course, for the purposes of this writing, she was black.  

As it turned out Wilber was married with a young child.  She had issues getting to work as someone needed to get her child on the bus to school at the same time that she needed to head to work.  And, as we got to know each other I learned that she was directly on my way to work.  So I offered to pick her up everyday.  She agreed to accept as long as they could provide me breakfast in their home everyday.  Deal made!!

So as weeks passed our friendship grew more solid.  She was a delightfully funny, caring, compassionate person.  She had strong family values and a deep abiding religious faith.  Turned out her husband was a minister.

One day we were working side by side at a large conference table assembling a mailing when our conversation took a more serious turn.  I don’t remember the actual course of the conversation, but at some point Wilber said to me, “Sue, you don’t know what I’d give to be a white person.”  “You don’t mean that, Wilbur!” was my reply.  She looked at me dead on and said, “You will never understand.”

In that moment my life, my understanding, made a dramatic shift.  I knew instantly that I would never understand.  But a window had been opened.  

Along with my friendship with Wilber, over the years I have had the pleasure of working in different environments that were very inclusive.  At the time of my retirement that was at Johnson and Johnson which included employees at all level of the operations of all colors, creeds, etc., etc. So I had exposure to many different kinds of people throughout my life.  

Which brings me to current day.  A few months ago I read a book titled A Brief History of Everyone Who Ever Lived: The Stories in Our Genes by Adam Rutherford.  Some of the book was over my head, but I did understand most of it.  One sentence in the book has really stuck with me; and I paraphrase – White people have as much of a chance of sharing as much DNA of a black person as they do with a white.  What originally created the difference in skin color was that over time, as homo sapiens migrated out of Africa (which is where we ALL came from) the further we moved away from the equator the lighter our skin became.  Darker skin pigmentation was a protection against the extreme sun exposure of living near the equator.  

As a result of this, what I came to understand is that it makes as much sense to discriminate based on skin color as it does to discriminate against people with blue eyes or red hair!!! 

What is sad for me is that while I have this understanding, I am also very pessimistic that the racial tensions of our country will ever subside.  When I think about the history of racial bias in this country, I think about the fact that the first slave ship arrived on the shores of North America in 1619.  It was 246 years of slavery until the Emancipation Proclamation was issued by President Lincoln in 1863.  And even then the slave situation did not change that much very quickly.   Since 1863 one hundred fifty-seven years have passed and look what we still have going on today.

My premise is that you can make all the laws and conduct all the protests you want, but it will not change the ‘heart’ of racial hatred.  Those people we see on TV screaming at each other … the screaming will change nothing.  People who need something to hate will find something to hate, and in this country it is hating people for the color of their skin.  

I don’t even pretend to know the answers.  I just wish every white person could have had a ‘Wilber McGee’ in their lives.