The Acts

Jane Fonda wrote her biography a few years ago and had an interesting way of segmenting her life.  She called them Acts, like on the theatre stage, and broke her life into Act I, Act II and Act III.  This may not be a new notion, but it is new to me and I like it.

Act I: 0-30 years of age….our youth, when we do the stupid things and get away with it. (My definition)

Act II: 31-60 years of age….our settling down years, when we start our families and get respectable, again, my definition.

Act III: 61 and beyond…our reflective time, when we wonder what it was all about, my definition.

I read the book a few years ago, but got thinking about these stages again as I thought about Kate’s (my step-daughter) 30th birthday.  It is coming up shortly and milestone birthdays always find me strolling down memory lane. 

Kate was 8 years old when I first met her.  She was a little tiny nip of a girl with big blue eyes and a fierce spirit.  Not that she was fearsome…but that she had a will all her own…and I knew immediately that she could do anything…anything she could imagine. 

She did have a few things to learn.  She needed to learn how to get through revolving doors without getting stuck.  She did learn how to barrel race horses, downhill ski and manipulate her brother for any outcome she wanted.  She was born with a sense of focus and how to accomplish her goals.  She always knew what she wanted and by her mid-20’s she got herself there…married, a master’s degree and a little later, a daughter. 

Now she is transitioning to Act II and I have no fears for her.  Her marriage is solid and with the passing of time, marriage and parenthood she allows herself more wiggle room. She is in an entirely different place than I was at that age. 

By age 30 I had lived in Florida, Ohio, Alaska and Guam and loved my freedom.  I never had a driving need to be married or have children…it just wasn’t there.  I did not have a career per se, I had jobs that I really enjoyed and never seemed to have problems finding employment.  By mid-Act II I purchased my first home and enjoyed the stability that home ownership provided, no more testy landlords!  I made enough money that I could travel around North America pretty much as I pleased when I pleased. 

At one point I was engaged, the only time before Pete.  But midway through the wedding planning I decided I would rather go to Alaska for a month….says something for my commitment!!  My fiancé agreed, I spent a month in Alaska, came home and broke up the 10 year relationship.

Marriage did make a huge difference and I’m glad I found my perfect partner.  I really don’t want to go deeply into Act III alone.  But marriage did come at a personal price.  Now I share my life and for someone who has always been a loaner, that was a big step.  Compromise became an active verb in my life…something I rarely needed to do prior to marriage.  Luckily I married a man who enjoys and respects freedom as much as I do…so we are well matched for understanding each other’s space needs.

That seems like ancient history now that I stand at the edge of my life.  Act III is both exciting and scary.  I have no illusions, no expectations that this wonderland of my life goes on indefinitely.  The aging process is apparent both physically and psychologically.

I think the best that I can say for myself is….

·         I have no regrets

·         I would not do anything differently

·         Thank you for all the incredible people, who came into and out of my life

It still is one heck of a ride!