The Power of Dreams

 

On occasion I have very powerful dreams.  Most of my dreams I don’t remember.  But when I do, I assume it is for a reason.  Like the reoccurring dream I had for years about being a Union soldier in the Civil War.  Then there was the dream of meeting with a dear loved one in the woods, at a bench where we had an intimate conversation and then reading the next day his obituary.  Each of these were vivid dreams from which I awoke very confused and disoriented.

Another fact about me is that I have a hard time grieving when someone I love passes.  I didn’t cry when either Mom or Dad passed.  I miss them of course, and wish very much that they were still here, but never once did I shed a tear.  And don’t get me wrong, I’m not bragging about that, its just an observation of my grieving process.

So, what the heck was my dream about last night??!! 

As my family and most of my friends know, I grew up in a family-owned grocery store.  By the time I was 14 years old after school and on non-school days I was the primary cashier.  My brother, Jim, had learned to butcher meat and he was always in the meat department with that job. 

Last night I had one of my very vivid dreams. I was back at that cash register and with every customer the cash register was not working properly.  And every time, in the dream, I was screaming for Jim to come and fix the problem.  He would come up and fix the problem, go back to the meat department, and then turn right around again at my next scream.  Once again, I woke up very confused and disoriented. 

Jim passed in June this year.  He had been living with me and Pete for the last six years.  We had never been particularly close.  Our closest times were in our childhood, 4 months when we were both living in Fairbanks, Alaska and then the past 6 years.  I do miss having him in our house, but again, I never shed a tear. 

Not sure, but maybe I have a very weird grieving process.