The Power of Quiet

Just finished a very interesting book; Susan Cain writes Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Won’t Stop Talking.  

I’ve thought a lot about Introversion vs Extroversion over the years for several reasons.  But Susan Cain took the topic to an entirely new level.  We all have the mix in our relationships with family and friends.  Typically we scratch our heads trying to understand the other when our communication goes completely off mark and our assumptions prove to be totally wrong.  

The two areas of particular interest to me was her exploration of Introversion in the workplace and then of the impact of Introversion on the shy child.  

In the workplace the bias against the Introverted Employee is rampant.  My perfect example is of a dear friend Joanie (not her real name).  She is the ultimate Introvert.  Shy, quiet, reserved I first met her when we became cube mates.  When you got to know her you found a delightful, intelligent woman who knew what she wanted and where she wanted to go.  The problem was she didn’t have a talent for self-promotion.  At the time she was a contract worker but it wasn’t long before she applied for a position to which she was perfectly suited.  All of us in the office knew it, even the hiring manager.  However, Joanie didn’t get hired as the hiring manager doubted her ability to be assertive and hold her own in a competitive environment.  We all knew this was a huge miss…but management wouldn’t relent due to an obscene bias for the Extrovert.  

In her book Susan emphasizes how in the USA we are culturally biased to the Extrovert.  It is typically the Extrovert or Pseudo-Extrovert (the Introvert who has developed the false front of extroversion effectively) who is elected into political office or who rises to top leadership in corporate America.  It is the Extrovert who leads the way on all fronts.  And while this might seem as it should be, Susan pointed out that it might also be, in part, why we are where we are today.  Susan wondered if it wasn’t the Extroverts on Wall Street who ignored all the signs the Introverts were pointing out, that led to the economic crisis of 2007-2008.

The Extrovert’s characteristics are those of quick decisions, the ability to act decisively, superficial insight, gregariousness, socialabilty, etc.  The workplace has responded to this bias by delivering open work space that appeal to the Extrovert’s need for social interaction.  

However, if you look at the issues facing us today, both politically and economically, it seems to me that what is needed is deep thought.  Deep thought which cannot be accomplished in open work settings where social interaction is expected and the norm.  If we were to ask the deep thinkers of our time, maybe Warren Buffet or Bill Gates, how their most fruitful solutions/ideas came into being, I would bet any odds you want to set that they would say in the quiet of their private offices, alone, behind closed doors.

Much of Susan’s book was focused on the Introverted Child.  How without special parent/teacher intervention, this child is ridiculed, overlooked, bullied, minimalized.  It takes a very tuned in parent and/or teacher to recognize the Introverted Child’s unique personality.  It takes a very special relationship with that child to support, recognize, honor and cherish all that he or she has to offer.  As Susan said, as long as the child has supportive family and 2-3 close friends then a quiet evening at home reading a good book might be far superior time spent to being the life of the party down the block…for that child.  

Her closing chapter and dedication that was at the end of the book was worth the entire read.  For those of us striving to understand and cherish all those who comprise our individual universes, this book is a must read.  I hope it pauses you, allows you to rewind and whether you are decidedly an Introvert or an Extrovert… or…somewhere in between, opens the door to understanding.